Little White Hairs

We all go through changes in our lives, some noticeable, others not so much. Recently I've noticed a change in my life. As I reflected upon it, I came to realize it transcends the physical appearance of little white hairs.

This photo shows me after a week of abstinence from the razor. Not very impressive, I know, but notice the chin area. This is certainly one of the motivators that helps me keep my face smooth. Ruggedly smooth, of course. Anyway, I can't really grow facial hair and when I do now it comes out white, which is not my natural hair color.

Although related, these are not the little white hairs of which I write. No, the hairs I noticed that caused me to reflect upon the change in my life come from a little brown and white Jack Russell Terrier that now shares our home.

It happened one day last week as I was sitting in a training class and looked down at my black fleece jacket. It had little white hairs on the front of it. I tried to brush and pick a few off but then I thought, 'aw, fuggetaboutit' because I'm a dog owner again. And with that subtle thought manifests the change in my life.

I used to care about little things like dog hairs on my coat, or my couch, or the floor, etc. I used to be controlling and restrictive, protective of the hygenic sanctity of my house. But just like parents with second and subsequent children, the protectiveness gets old when you realize no matter how controlling you are, kids will get hurt sometimes. I realized that things will have little white hairs on them and I can't stop that.

My thought is that it boils down to love. The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13 that love is patient, love is kind...it does not insist on its own way. Although she's only been in our house a relatively short time, Allie has become part of the family, and I love her. Because of that I choose to put up with her quirks, her transgressions (although I wish they would've happened on the tile and not the carpet), and her little white hairs everywhere. She's a dog, and I can do things to modify her behavior, but not her personality or instincts. I accept my lack of control and choose to love her by not insisting on having my way.

Perhaps the little white hairs on my chin are part of the new normal in my life. In fact, I know they are. As I have aged and matured, (for the two are not always equated), I have grown to realize that all of our relationships should be governed by the rule of love. Those things that were once annoyances, such as hairs everywhere, can be seen as sharing our lives in love. I really don't want to shed on you or vice versa, but when it happens unintentionally it shows that we have a relationship that is close enough that a part of us is left with the other long after our last contact. When we notice these pieces of each other in our lives it is then our choice to either brush them off or accept them with love as the gifts they are.

Resolutions and Authority

Where did this whole resolution thing come from? My New Year's resolution is...(insert your own here). The only one I made this year was to read through the whole Bible again. I did it every year for several years, but with the class load at seminary and other things going on, I have not done it the last two. So in 2010, I will read the whole Bible again.

I also wanted to make some about writing, like posting here at least bi-weekly. This Friday is payday, reminding me that it is a "bi-week," so I find myself here writing about resolutions. Not that writing here is a resolution, mind you, but it is something I would like to do. If I resolved to write regularly, you might hold me accountable.

After the past two days at work, I wish more people had resolved to respect authority. Each day this week I have stopped violators who were not only driving unsafely with their children in their car, but showed very little respect for my uh-thor-eh-tah. As I see it, their attitude, words, and behavior towards me (for no other offense to them than doing my job), taught their children the following two lessons.

First, it is okay to disrespect authority. I wear symbols of the authority given to me all over my work clothes. It is very clear that I am the sword bearer of Romans 13:4. In spite of this, the aforementioned violators found it acceptable to challenge me, be rude and insulting to me, and go so far as to call me a liar and a hypocrite (although not with those exact words). Remember, they had their children in the car with them. Impressionable children who were watching and absorbing the whole incident.

The second lesson being taught, although probably not as clear as the first, is that it is okay to break the law "a little bit." The gist of the violator's argument was that yes, they were driving over the posted speed limit, but not as fast as I said they were driving. And didn't I have better things to do than hassle them for speeding a little bit?

I can only hope that justice will be done in these families. Not Godly justice, or even social justice, but my own brand of sweet ironic justice. In a few years, when the children who observed their parents act this way toward me rebel against mom in the same disrespectful and relativistic manner, mom will call for help with "an out of control teenager." God willing I will be the one to respond. Then I can listen to the violator turned victim's complaint and offer these words of advice. "Gee mom, don't you have better things to do than hassle your teenage son? I think you're exaggerating things after all. I mean, he probably only smoked a little pot and his girlfriend is only a little pregnant. Maybe if you had set a better example for him we all wouldn't be here meeting again."

I know, and I apologize. This is not what Jesus would have done. However, this type of rambling ranting does keep me sane and healthy by venting off the toxic feelings that build up inside of me from work. Maybe I should resolve to be a better testimony to the greatness of Jesus Christ. If I did, would you hold me accountable for that?